My dear readers,
Wow, when I post you guys read! Using a stat counter is great for knowing data about my audience. There are those all over the U.S., some in Canada, and even those further over seas. I definitely encourage you to share this journal, as one of my intentions is to generate a thousand visitors each month! I don't know how this will happen, but I'm putting it out there ;)
However, stats are missing something that I crave and that's connection! I want to know who you are. I do know a powerful attribute about you, that you're someone interested in living fully because that is what this journal is about.
I'd love to hear about who you are and what is going on for you in life. Time to share!
Right now, my life is about community strength and this blog is part of that. My community is one of connection, insight, and sharing.
I'm looking forward to meeting you.
Joyfully,
Danielle
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Today, I'm finally starting to understand what choosing can mean for my life. It all started back at the Forum when there was an exercise in making a choice, or rather a perceived choice.
I'm rewriting the exercise a bit so that it makes even more sense to me. So here goes:
You're sitting in an ice cream parlor and someone hands you a bowl of chocolate ice cream. Everyone else around you has something different, so you'd like to choose that instead...but the parlor is out of everything else except chocolate. The choice is to accept what you got (the chocolate ice cream) or be busy ogling what everyone else has.
The perceived choice is that I can have someone else's ice cream...but I can't. I only get what's right in front of me. Furthermore, if I put my energy into not wanting the chocolate, it doesn't disappear or transform into vanilla...it just sits there. Simply stated, what you got...is what you got.
This week I've been confronted with choosing what I got. This has manifested itself in what I originally thought was my weight. The drama that I was going through was that losing weight is difficult for me even though I'm doing all the right things (eating healthy and exercising daily) and that there's some "cosmic unfairness" to the whole thing since other people have an easy time with this without putting in so much effort.
So my choice was my weight...or so I thought. However, whenever I'd choose [remember: this is what I got] my weight of 144lbs (15 of which I'd like to lose) I'd find myself in major upset, crying, and feeling really bad for myself. It definitely didn't spring me into action or make me feel good.
I started to look at what it is that I'm resisting. I asked, "what's right in front of me that I'm ignoring, pushing away, or feeling victimized by." What I saw was my food diary. I had pushed it away because I made measuring my food into this obsessive activity that I felt was unhealthy. Now, what I was obsessive over was *not* using it. So I was spending lots of time crying and defending why I shouldn't go that route even though I know that it works well for me.
Later this morning I decided to choose my food diary. Then I got the "ah ha!" moment. After choosing it, all that worry, upset, and effort went away. I didn't start crying thinking about entering in my food for the day or the number on the scale. I was spending so much effort on resisting my food diary that using it seems super simple now...10 minutes tops to enter in food and not thinking about it is so much better than being in an upset for a good hour+ per day.
The struggle and the effort has really disappeared...it's like I didn't know it was there anyway. In choosing my resistance I lost the drama and gained freedom.
Another part of what I chose was what I viewed as "obsessiveness." I had this whole thing about not wanting to feel that way. So I chose that along with the food diary since the two are linked, and now instead of feeling obsessed, I just feel in control of what I'm doing to my body.
Only in resistance does something stick around. So, take a good look at the chocolate and choose.
I'm rewriting the exercise a bit so that it makes even more sense to me. So here goes:
You're sitting in an ice cream parlor and someone hands you a bowl of chocolate ice cream. Everyone else around you has something different, so you'd like to choose that instead...but the parlor is out of everything else except chocolate. The choice is to accept what you got (the chocolate ice cream) or be busy ogling what everyone else has.
The perceived choice is that I can have someone else's ice cream...but I can't. I only get what's right in front of me. Furthermore, if I put my energy into not wanting the chocolate, it doesn't disappear or transform into vanilla...it just sits there. Simply stated, what you got...is what you got.
This week I've been confronted with choosing what I got. This has manifested itself in what I originally thought was my weight. The drama that I was going through was that losing weight is difficult for me even though I'm doing all the right things (eating healthy and exercising daily) and that there's some "cosmic unfairness" to the whole thing since other people have an easy time with this without putting in so much effort.
So my choice was my weight...or so I thought. However, whenever I'd choose [remember: this is what I got] my weight of 144lbs (15 of which I'd like to lose) I'd find myself in major upset, crying, and feeling really bad for myself. It definitely didn't spring me into action or make me feel good.
I started to look at what it is that I'm resisting. I asked, "what's right in front of me that I'm ignoring, pushing away, or feeling victimized by." What I saw was my food diary. I had pushed it away because I made measuring my food into this obsessive activity that I felt was unhealthy. Now, what I was obsessive over was *not* using it. So I was spending lots of time crying and defending why I shouldn't go that route even though I know that it works well for me.
Later this morning I decided to choose my food diary. Then I got the "ah ha!" moment. After choosing it, all that worry, upset, and effort went away. I didn't start crying thinking about entering in my food for the day or the number on the scale. I was spending so much effort on resisting my food diary that using it seems super simple now...10 minutes tops to enter in food and not thinking about it is so much better than being in an upset for a good hour+ per day.
The struggle and the effort has really disappeared...it's like I didn't know it was there anyway. In choosing my resistance I lost the drama and gained freedom.
Another part of what I chose was what I viewed as "obsessiveness." I had this whole thing about not wanting to feel that way. So I chose that along with the food diary since the two are linked, and now instead of feeling obsessed, I just feel in control of what I'm doing to my body.
Only in resistance does something stick around. So, take a good look at the chocolate and choose.
Monday, July 2, 2007
The Game of it All
The seminar that I'm currently participating in, the Living Passionately seminar, is about bringing purpose, grace, and ease to all areas of my life.
While on a leadership call last night, I was able to take away a lot of insights and I'd like to share them below.
The homework for this week is to make a game out of that which I take too seriously! What I was reminded of at the seminar is that anything that is in my life, I have brought into existence and if I'm getting stressed about it, then I'm clearly not playing life like a game.
On Saturday, I was having one of those days where it seemed that everything was going wrong. For example I had a plan to walk to the post office and I realized, 3/4 of the way there, that I didn't have my wallet with me to purchase packaging or stamps. My whole day felt like this, always reaching out to do more, but having something get in the way. What a blah way to be!
One thing that had really bothered me all day was that I am teaching an American History class in the fall and I didn't feel like I would be getting any help at all through this process. As usual, I would be doing everything by myself and I had lots of evidence to suggest that this would be true. So on Saturday, I got worked up about it and had a short cry about how overwhelmed I was feeling...this was certainly having an effect on all of my other tasks for the day.
As usual, my boyfriend was very supportive and started to offer suggestions on what I could do with the class. This communication opened the door for me that this might be an area where I could look to "play the game."
While I was on my leadership call yesterday, as I'm a group leader for my team, I realized something else. That the class is all mine...it exists because of me. In fact, the class would not be there without me, because the parents from last year's class rallied to have me teach the same students as a group again this year (normally they would be broken up).
When I had this eureka moment, I was able to make the class into a game. The game being enrolling the families to contribute to the class directly instead of shutting them out of the creation! What I wasn't open to was that the families have a ton to contribute and are part of making this class happen, just as they had at the end of June.
With this new found excitement I ordered tons of American History books off of amazon and found some really fun activities for class. My next step will be engaging the parents in contributing to this class, whether it be with a lesson, or a plan for a field trip, or ideas for class discussions or curriculum, or maybe there is something totally new that they can offer. I'm all ears.
Today, I emailed someone on staff to give me the names and contact info of the parents so that I can connect with them now and have a unifying vision for our class come September.
With all of this I am taking ownership of the class, bringing it to life, and being really hungry for it to begin. I'm excited!
To review, there were a few things that I had to do to see the chrysalis that I can bring to class:
1. I had to consider that I was not truly fully involved in the class. What I was involved in was a "poor me, I have to do this myself" attitude.
2. I thought about what I had to give up to be able to see a new possibility for how this class can work. And what I saw was that I was taking my point of view too seriously (and as if it were the truth and not just my opinion) that no one will help me and that I'll have to do it myself.
3. Make a game out of it (by taking the significance I put on the class out!). The game is to get parents involved in the vision that I have for the class of being fun, exciting, and a contribution of all of our efforts.
As a teacher I get to create context all the time, and now I have a new context to live into, that of contribution and generosity!
While on a leadership call last night, I was able to take away a lot of insights and I'd like to share them below.
The homework for this week is to make a game out of that which I take too seriously! What I was reminded of at the seminar is that anything that is in my life, I have brought into existence and if I'm getting stressed about it, then I'm clearly not playing life like a game.
On Saturday, I was having one of those days where it seemed that everything was going wrong. For example I had a plan to walk to the post office and I realized, 3/4 of the way there, that I didn't have my wallet with me to purchase packaging or stamps. My whole day felt like this, always reaching out to do more, but having something get in the way. What a blah way to be!
One thing that had really bothered me all day was that I am teaching an American History class in the fall and I didn't feel like I would be getting any help at all through this process. As usual, I would be doing everything by myself and I had lots of evidence to suggest that this would be true. So on Saturday, I got worked up about it and had a short cry about how overwhelmed I was feeling...this was certainly having an effect on all of my other tasks for the day.
As usual, my boyfriend was very supportive and started to offer suggestions on what I could do with the class. This communication opened the door for me that this might be an area where I could look to "play the game."
While I was on my leadership call yesterday, as I'm a group leader for my team, I realized something else. That the class is all mine...it exists because of me. In fact, the class would not be there without me, because the parents from last year's class rallied to have me teach the same students as a group again this year (normally they would be broken up).
When I had this eureka moment, I was able to make the class into a game. The game being enrolling the families to contribute to the class directly instead of shutting them out of the creation! What I wasn't open to was that the families have a ton to contribute and are part of making this class happen, just as they had at the end of June.
With this new found excitement I ordered tons of American History books off of amazon and found some really fun activities for class. My next step will be engaging the parents in contributing to this class, whether it be with a lesson, or a plan for a field trip, or ideas for class discussions or curriculum, or maybe there is something totally new that they can offer. I'm all ears.
Today, I emailed someone on staff to give me the names and contact info of the parents so that I can connect with them now and have a unifying vision for our class come September.
With all of this I am taking ownership of the class, bringing it to life, and being really hungry for it to begin. I'm excited!
To review, there were a few things that I had to do to see the chrysalis that I can bring to class:
1. I had to consider that I was not truly fully involved in the class. What I was involved in was a "poor me, I have to do this myself" attitude.
2. I thought about what I had to give up to be able to see a new possibility for how this class can work. And what I saw was that I was taking my point of view too seriously (and as if it were the truth and not just my opinion) that no one will help me and that I'll have to do it myself.
3. Make a game out of it (by taking the significance I put on the class out!). The game is to get parents involved in the vision that I have for the class of being fun, exciting, and a contribution of all of our efforts.
As a teacher I get to create context all the time, and now I have a new context to live into, that of contribution and generosity!
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